England Archives - Kaetrin's Musings

The Secret Life of Albert Entwistle by Matt Cain, narrated by Simon Vance. Quiet and gentle second chance romance for gentlemen “of a certain age”.

The first thing you need to know about The Secret Life of Albert Entwistle is that it is a quiet book. Quiet and gentle. It’s the difference between a cosy mystery set in rural England and Law & Order: SVU. Don’t expect fast-paced revelations. This book is slower and mellower than many contemporary romances around the place. I had to deliberately switch gears to get into it.

Albert Entwistle is nearly 65. He’s a postman for the Royal Mail in the small town of Toddington in England’s north. He’s been a postie since he was 18 and left high school. He has a solitary life and very routine – he eats the same meals every week, he has a Crunchie bar (it’s a kind of candy/chocolate bar – honeycomb covered in chocolate = very nice) with his lunch every day. He keeps himself to himself. He has no friends, doesn’t engage with his co-workers and has only his elderly cat, Gracie for company. For many years he looked after his sick mother but she died 7 years earlier and he has been alone ever since. Even when it was him and his “mam” it’s not like they were close. She would berate and belittle him at every turn.

But Albert loves to dance and sing along to show tunes in the night time behind closed curtains where no-one can see. And he remembers his long lost love, George.

The book begins with Albert getting a letter from HQ which tells him his compulsory retirement is nearly upon him and then Gracie gets sick. Yes, there is pet death on page so beware (I cried). These events shake up Albert’s world and he vows to make some changes. He decides to find George.

It’s been nearly 50 years since their year together, hiding from public view and falling in love during their final year of high school. Back then being gay was only legal if you were over 21. At 17/18 it was a different story. And, even so, being gay in public was not okay and bars and clubs were regularly raided. In small town England the homophobia was even worse. (Be warned, there is quite a bit of homophobia in this book).

Interspersed among the story is a bit of the gay history of England since the 1970s – interesting, sad and enraging at turns. The main story is set in about 2019 I think, doing the maths.

In the course of Albert’s search he makes friends with a young Black single mother, Nicole, aged 19, who has a 3-year-old daughter Irene (“Reenie”). Nicole has a romance of her own (as well as POV sections) and I was very invested! In fact most of the romance within the book itself was for Nicole and Jamie.

Albert and George’s romance is told in flashbacks and what future they may have is still to be told when the book ends.

Albert also makes many other friends, including with a gay couple Daniel and Danny, who move into the neighborhood and many of his co-workers. He opens up, shows interests in others, releases the kindness he has been hiding and, he comes out. It’s a slow process but almost universally, the people he comes out to are very kind. It’s perhaps a picture of an ideal world but it felt a bit too “It’s a Wonderful Life” by the end.

The cast is large, with many of the other characters who go through their own life events during the course of the book. (Listeners should note that one of those life events is the death of a child – a relative of a secondary character – from cancer.) Albert is there to offer sage advice. He’s perhaps a little too perfect considering how very insular he’s been. It was just a little too saccharine.

Albert’s history of what is essentially abuse by his parents (of the emotional kind and a little bit of the physical from his dad, especially when his dad found out Albert was gay) is very sad and difficult to hear. What’s even sadder is that there are many teenagers who experience this kind of thing even now. There’s also some explicit depictions of casual homophobia, racism and gay bashing so for all the gentle tone of the story there are serious topics being covered.

I did find it a little hard to get a handle on Albert. There was very little by way of physical description. I didn’t have a clear view of him really. I know he’s got gray hair and he’s 64 and I gather he’s fairly fit because he walks a lot but as for physicality, he was a bit of a cipher. It seems he’s a young 64, initially hiding in an older 64-year-old’s body.

The narration is very good, with all the various regional accents being delivered skilfully by Simon Vance. Mr. Vance’s female character voices were very good too. Given the wide-ranging cast, Mr. Vance had plenty of opportunity to demonstrate the range of ages he can depict as well, from toddler Reenie, to Albert himself and many, many characters in between. There were also a range of characters of colour, including some from Pakistan and the accent there was well done and also respectful.

There were a few (perhaps more than a few) instances where there was a pause in a sentence where it didn’t belong, causing a bit of a stutter in the throughline. Sometimes I had to mentally replay the sentence to get the understanding. But there were no other issues of any significance and overall I enjoyed his performance quite a bit.

The Secret Life of Albert Entwistle was a change of pace to my usual listen – it was also sweet (if a little too much so at times) and gentle and kind and who doesn’t need a bit of that in their lives?

Grade: B