Category: B reviews (Page 69 of 74)

Beyond Shame by Kit Rocha

October 8, 2012 / Kaetrin

Why I read it: I saw the Twitter buzz (especially from Angela James, Carina Press editor who said it was super dirty) so I hoofed it over to NetGalley and was happy to be approved for the title. I’ll just say here too that the copyright information at the front was pretty classy I thought (basically that it’s okay to lend, but keep within your peer group and lend like you would a paper book.).

What it’s about: (from Goodreads) All Noelle Cunningham has ever wanted is a life beyond–beyond the walls of Eden, where only the righteous are allowed to remain, and beyond her stiflingly restrictive existence as a councilman’s daughter. But only ruins lie outside the City, remnants of a society destroyed by solar storms decades earlier.

The sectors surrounding Eden house the corrupt, the criminal–men like Jasper McCray, bootlegger and cage fighter. Jas clawed his way up from nothing to stand at the right hand of Sector Four’s ruthless leader, and he’ll defend the O’Kane gang with his life. But no fight ever prepared him for the exiled City girl who falls at his feet.

Her innocence is undeniable, but so is their intense sexual attraction, and soon they’re crossing every boundary Noelle barely knew she had. But if she wants to belong to Jas, first she’ll have to open herself to the gang, to a dangerous world of sex, lust and violence. A world where passion is power, and freedom is found in submission.

What worked for me (and what didn’t): Angela James was right. It’s super dirty! 😀 In the wild west environment of Sector 4, anything goes (so, expect some f/f action as well as multiple partners and a little BDSM play). Dallas O’Kane rules the sector and he makes sure the women under his protection are free to choose what that they do and with whom, just like the men. In Eden, woman (I gather) are ornaments for their fathers and later, their husbands; sex is not allowed and certainly not for fun. Noelle does the rubber band thing a little – going from one extreme to the other, until she settles at what is comfortable and happy for her. But, from the first, when she literally falls into Jasper’s arms, she feels a special affinity for him and he for her. It takes a while for both of them to realise that their attraction is based on more than him being her white knight that day.

I *really liked* how there was no slut shaming in this book by the people of Sector 4.

“Do you think I’m a harlot?”

She could not be serious. “No. I think maybe you’re a lady who likes to fuck.”

Noelle’s lips twitched. A laugh bubbled up, and she jerked her hand from his leg to cover her mouth. “You say it so easily, like it’s not the same thing at all.”

“Because it’s not. No one here is going to think you’re a bad person.” Seeing her mouth covered was a travesty, so he pried her fingers away and rubbed his thumb over her lower lip. “I’ll show you tonight, and you’ll see.”

It takes a while for Noelle to understand that along with the power to say “yes” to things, she also has the power to say “no”. Ultimately, I think Jasper’s earlier reticence about Noelle was about this – if she only said “yes” did that make the word meaningless?

Jasper’s insta-love didn’t bother me as much as it usually would have (though generally it’s not a trope I love) and I can’t really put my finger on why. It was just an accepted fact in the story very (very) early on. I did believe he feels for Noelle something he hasn’t felt before. I liked the way he’s clearly fairly alpha but he wasn’t uber possessive of her either. It seems even after their HEA they will still have many sexual adventures.

I liked Noelle’s journey (now she’s free, what’s she going to do with it?) and I liked the glimpses we had into Dallas (rowr!), Lex, Ace (more rowr!), Rachel, Bren ( ro… are you sensing a theme here?) and Six. I think I’m going to like Maddox too as the series progresses.

Dallas in particularly is a very interesting character (absolutely ruthless but with a unassailable sense of honour) and his dynamic with Lex is something which outshone Noelle and Jasper from time to time. For some reason, I didn’t mind though. 🙂

Because of the way the story was set up, with bits of Dallas, Lex and others, there was a sense of the book being somewhat unfinished. This was a satisfying read, but it’s clear there is a LOT more to tell.

I also liked that Noelle didn’t just cave into Jasper at the end, she actually thought about it – valued herself and him enough to sit back and make a decision. I also liked that she took responsibility for her part of the relationship and didn’t expect hearts and flowers and perfection – that she undertook to make it work too.

Jasper had hurt her. Whether through good intentions or carelessness, it didn’t matter. He’d crushed something fragile, and while doing it had damaged her trust. She couldn’t close her eyes and believe that he’d always know what she needed, that he’d always be there, giving it to her, no questions asked.

But maybe it had been the wrong sort of trust. Open, passive trust, the kind that was reckless to give and easy to shatter. The girl who’d been thrown through the gates of Eden had trusted blindly because she hadn’t had any other choice. That kind of trust meant as little as one more yes from someone who never said no.

This time would be harder. She’d have to trust Jasper, knowing he was human. Knowing he could hurt her, even when he didn’t mean to. She’d have to trust that he’d do his best, and make amends when his best wasn’t enough.

What else? I appreciated that the book wasn’t overwhelmed by world building, while at the same time being curious about some aspects which weren’t explained. All in all though, I’d rather the less is more approach I think. I’m curious to know more about the world – I got the sense that the authors know the answers even if they’re not actually in the book (as opposed to some books where I’ve felt that no-one has a clue or “they’re making it up as they go along”), so I’m happy enough to go along for the ride. I’m definitely looking forward to finding more about this world and I can hardly wait to find out more about Lex and Dallas and the other Sector 4 characters.

Grade: B

Kit Rocha (who is the alter ego of Moira Rogers – aka the writing team of Bree and Donna) have a most cool promotion on at present, where you can sign up and join the O’Kane gang – complete with (temporary) tattoos. You can also grab a badge just like this one to show your allegiance. Very fun.

The Hot Floor by Josephine Myles

October 6, 2012 / Kaetrin

Why I read it: It’s an m/m/m romance so that was enough to pique my interest. Then I saw some reviews which said the boys actually talk, so I was in. Bought it the week it was released. Plus, Books on Board was having a sale (so I bought the author’s other 2 books also).

What it’s about: (from Goodreads) Two plus one equals scorching hot fun.

Dumped by his boyfriend and reduced to living in a grotty bedsit, Josh Carpenter has gotten used to expecting the worst. Now he lives only for his job as a glassblower…and occasional glimpses of his sexy downstairs neighbors, Rai Nakamura and Evan Truman.

Every time he overhears the diminutive academic and the hunky plumber having loud and obviously kinky sex, Josh is overwhelmed with lust…and a longing for a fraction of what they have.

To his amazement, Rai and Evan find his embarrassing tendency to blush utterly charming, and the three men grow closer over the course of the long, hot summer. Despite Rai’s charming flirtation and Evan’s smoldering gaze, Josh is determined never to break his new friends’ loving bonds.

On the night a naked Josh falls—quite literally—into the middle of one of Rai and Evan’s marathon sex sessions, the force of their mutual attraction takes control. But just as Josh dares to hope, he senses a change. Leaving him to wonder if the winds of love are about to blow his way at last…or if history is about to repeat itself.

Warning: Contains one well-endowed stud with a sexy accent, one improbably toppy bottom boy with an unfortunate owl obsession, and one blushing naïf who can’t believe his luck. Also, the occasional indulgence in mathematical spanking and some shameless armpit sex.

What worked for me (and what didn’t): I have a weakness for m/m/m romance. I’m not quite sure why that is. But, much of what I have read has been firmly in the realm of fantasy (no matter that the label said contemporary) because there is often very little discussion on how the relationship is going to work. What I liked about this one is that it was clear from early on that Evan and Rai was in the habit of talking over things explicitly in their relationship. Josh is very shy and finds it difficult to talk about his feelings or his desires but Evan and Rai just won’t put up with it. They require (in a kind way) Josh to participate actively, to answer questions and ask for what he wants himself and, over the course of the book, he finds it comes easier and easier to him and he sees for himself how much easier it is in the long run to have open and clear communication.

For all that communication is big with these guys, there were a couple of conversations I would have liked to have seen on page. Rai and Evan decide that they want to have a long term relationship with Josh (and I don’t think it was inappropriate for them to have that talk just the two of them) and plan on talking to Josh about it. I felt like we got half the conversation but I would have liked a little more of it.

There was also a place where Evan and Josh are getting started while waiting for Rai (with his encouragement) and Josh lets slip something stupid inviting a comparison between Rai and himself. Evan just will not compare. I loved that about Evan. He really was straight up and down – what you see is what you get, and a man of true integrity and I liked that he didn’t want to get into any silly games which would only lead to tension. But what was missing was the conversation with all three of them about it – not to shame Josh but, maybe to set out some further ground rules. One of the things which happens a number of times as the triad relationship emerges is that they have to make more rules because what was initially expected to be a fling, with the prime relationship staying Evan and Rai, becomes something more. I liked that Evan and Rai were quick to identify when things were moving beyond expectations and bring things up (by the end, I thought Josh would do that too, but for most of the book he was unsure of his place and so I didn’t expect him to lead the process).

I wondered if they moved to the no condoms a bit too quickly – would they not actually exchange test results? However, I’m glad they talked about it and at least some effort was made to deal with the sexual health issue.

The story was told from Josh’s 1st person POV so the view of Evan and Rai was somewhat limited. I did think there was enough of the both of them though to get a fairly clear picture of them, separately and together and I liked that both Evan and Rai made an effort to spend time with Josh alone too.

The book was humorous and quirky, from Rai’s obsession with 70’s kitsch and his owl fetish and Evan’s love of Kerplunk and B horror movies. There were also positive female roles in the book – something which is always welcome, with Josh having a strong friendship with Denise, his downstairs neighbour and friend and fellow tenant Stella the little old lady with the open and somewhat dirty mind who needs help because of her arthritis.

Josh’s glass blowing job was interesting too and it was nice to see him become more confident in himself professionally as well as on the personal front over the course of the book. I wonder if we might not see Dylan in a future story?

What else? I will admit I got a little confused during the armpit sex. I thought Rai and Josh should be facing the other way – but I am not in any way the expert on this.

The sex was smoking and there was no pronoun abuse – I always knew who was doing what and saying what – something that can be problematic for me in m/m and which can be magnified in m/m/m. It says something about the strong characterisations that Evan and Rai came off the page so distinctly.

I also enjoyed the Bath setting and the authentic English vernacular (although I now have to go look up “gert lush” means).

I’d love to catch up with Josh, Rai and Evan in a future story -maybe a Christmas short (hint hint) or something because these guys were fun and sexy and a joy to spend time with.

Before reading this book, I’d only read Pole Star (a free short) from this author. I’m glad I have 2 others on my TBR because this was great.

Grade: B+

Lean on Me by HelenKay Dimon

October 4, 2012 / Kaetrin

Why I read it: I heard the Twitter buzz and snapped it up when it was offered on NetGalley.

What it’s about: (from Goodreads) Cassidy Clarke once climbed the world’s highest mountains, but after an unexpected illness ends her career she’s back in her hometown, broke and hoping for a little luck. But the townsfolk aren’t exactly putting out a welcome mat for the woman who once snubbed them in the media, despite her apologies now.

Mitch Anders knows someone has set up camp on the grounds of his plant nursery, and he’s surprised to find his sexy high school crush ducking questions about where she’s staying. Though he’s sworn to stop cleaning up other people’s messes, Mitch offers Cassidy a job and a place to stay—his place. Bedsharing optional, but definitely welcome.

Out of options and too attracted to Mitch to keep things platonic, Cassidy says yes to his offer. She wants to get back on her feet financially and start a new career. She never expects to suffer a different kind of fall, one that has her believing Mitch just might bring her something bigger and better than luck

What worked for me (and what didn’t): I knew I was going to like this book when I got to page 9 and found this:

“What happened to your neck?” She closed her eyes the minute the babble left her mouth. Her breath also caught in her throat. She blamed the fumble of words rather than the feel of his hand folded over hers. “I mean, you, ah, look slimmer. Not that you were ever fat.”

One of the bystanders laughed.

Cassidy rushed to cover her most recent verbal disaster, though she feared there would be more. “You were more muscular then. Like, thicker in the shoulder to jaw area. You had a neck, of course. It was just…big.” She swore she heard a gurgling sound. Probably had something to do with her drowning in stupidity.

He held up his free hand as his eyes sparkled with mischief. “That compliment, if that’s what it was supposed to be, was kind of painful.”

“It didn’t sound too great in my head either.”

And the deal was sealed on page 14 when Mitch gets saucy:

“When I do go—” he pointed in the direction of the glassed-in office at the far end of the room, “—you’re going to be tempted to watch my ass.”

The comment was so out of context it hit her like a sharp smack. “Excuse me?”

“Just to be clear, I won’t be offended. As far as I’m concerned, you can go right ahead and look because I can guarantee you if the positions were reversed, I’d be watching yours.”

I love that kind of humour – it put me in mind of Shannon Stacey’s Kowalski series and it made me smile as I settled in to read.

Yes, there were things I thought were a little on the thin side – for example, the mystery regarding Cassidy’s stepfather Allan’s strange behaviour – I mean, seriously, how long did he think he was going to keep that a secret?

And, I would have liked the story to be a bit longer so as to flesh out Mitch’s backstory just a little more – I liked the way there wasn’t a great big info-dump, but rather was parsed out in small pieces, but at the end, I felt it was not quite enough.

I did think the final “conflict” was a little bit manufactured, given the faith Mitch had shown in Cassidy up til then (and the fact that that faith had consistently been rewarded) but they sorted things out quickly and he groveled sufficiently that I was prepared to let it go. Besides, the guy was hilarious clinging to a tree up the side of what was basically a hill and telling Cassidy (who had climbed Everest for goodness sake) to stay well back from the edge.

Mitch made the story for me – I really think he had most of the best lines:

“When we talk about everything else, we’ll cover that issue too. No more hiding.”

“I’m not really comfortable with any of this. After all, it’s my life. My business.”

“That argument would be more compelling if I hadn’t spent an hour washing shit out of my hair last night.”

Mitch made up his mind as soon as he laid eyes on Cassidy that he was going to be getting to know her very well and I enjoyed his single-mindedness on the issue. He wasn’t all alpha caveman about it, but he was quietly determined and with the dimple and the eye-twinkling Cassidy was a goner right from the start. The chemistry between the two was sizzling and fun and even though the book only spanned a few days, I didn’t have trouble believing that they had a real and lasting connection.

What else? Another good thing about this was that the small town of Holloway, West Virginia wasn’t full of sweet old ladies and kind friends (On Twitter, it was referred to as not being “Stepford”). The townsfolk were pretty fired up about an interview Cassidy did some years before where she was pretty scathing about her hometown and they haven’t forgiven her. The gossip mill is active and mean in Holloway – which is the way gossip usually is. Mitch is on Cassidy’s side right from the start and that made him a wonderful hero. Here he is again:

Nice and slow, making sure everyone saw and no one got the story wrong, he lowered his head and treated her to a shoe-shaking kiss. He let her have it all, didn’t hold back. And when he lifted his head again she was smiling.

The twinkle had returned to her eyes. “No, that’s how a man stakes a claim.”

He wiggled his eyebrows at her. “Wait until you see how I do it with my clothes off.”

It’s a light, fun, sexy contemporary which was a pleasure to read.

Grade: B+

Two Tickets to Paradise

September 27, 2012 / Kaetrin

This is the latest Dreamspinner Press anthology, which I picked up from NetGalley.

Because there are so many short stories included, I’ll change up my usual review format and talk briefly about each one.

A Good Night’s Sleep by Anna Martin – B- – Two guys backpacking through Thailand and Malaysia meet on a train and hook up (yep, train sex). The story is very short, so the hopeful kind of HFN is appropriate. I know I got this from NetGalley and I can expect to find some errors which (hopefully) won’t be there in the final version, but can I just say that Sydney, Australia is spelt with a “y” and not an “i”?

Fall Forward by Jamie Love – D – 2 college guys take their first vacation together. I didn’t really enjoy this story; it was a bit clumsy and delved into boring minutiae.

Reconnecting by Claire Russett – B – Physics professor meets up with the ex who broke his heart at a conference in Corfu. Quite good but I didn’t get the excitement over getting a free 16GB flashdrive as conference swag – are they that expensive?

Mending and Moving On by Cecilia Ryan – B – Two guys meet up in Spain – one is nursing a broken heart (although, not that broken because he connects pretty quickly with the other guy, let’s face it). Apart from that I don’t like it when adults, especially guys “giggle”, I did enjoy this one. It was quite sweet overall and had a believable hopeful kind of HFN. But, do men really say I don’t like being “penetrated”?

The Jeep Guy by Eric Renner C- This was an odd little story which took me a while to work out – Guy meets another guy during a beach vacation. The story is told initially via blog posts but by the end that device seemed to have been dropped, but without any real explanation.

All at Sea by JL Merrow – B Story about first love on holiday on the Isle of Wight with a sweet surprise at the end. Touching and happy. I liked it.

Haunted by Jana Denardo – C Story about a ghost hunter writing and his photographer boyfriend. I was expecting a ghostly conflict but it was more about the writer being worried his boyfriend was bored/unhappy about all of their working vacations – which was sorted out by one simple conversation.

Something Different by Sean Michael – B Very sexy story about 2 ex-lovers getting back together after 10 years apart, when they bump into each other while they are both holidaying in Las Vegas. I wouldn’t have minded a longer story and to know more about the how of their future, but I did believe they would make it.

Perpendicularity by Mal Peters – B- Cute story about a pro snow boarder and a chef who meet in the French Alps. It has a hopeful HFN ending. Strangely, the story was told in 1st person present tense which felt a bit odd. I would have happily read more of these two however.

Sunlight on Water by Susan Laine – D The clumsy writing made this one difficult for me to finish “He had that surfer thing going on and the surfboard next to him emphasised the impression” (ya think?). Young guys meet on the beach. One is a hustler but nevertheless; insta-love. Did not like.

Off the Tracks by Chelle Dugan – C- This was a kind of odd time travel story. A lot of telling not showing (which I can kind of understand in such a short format, but still). I liked the style but the time travel thing threw me a bit.

All You Need by Dar Mavison – B- Relationship in trouble story – a couple go to New York for a weekend and find some common ground. If the story had’ve been longer, perhaps I would have more confidence that their problems were over, but it’s a more hopeful than happy ending. I liked the alternating first person POV and how the same problems were shown from each man’s perspective. What they also had in common was that they didn’t want the relationship to end.

Know Nobody by GR Richards – C- Story about an older guy who takes a trip to somewhere he knows nobody so he can hook up. He gets lucky with three (!) younger men after “undies night” at a local gay bar. His BFF turns up and they suddenly realise they belong together. Lots of sex but not much emotional connection.

New Lease by BG Thomas – C+ A guy who’s been someone’s dirty little secret for 20 years is still grieving his death and goes to their holiday rental considering suicide. He meets a handsome man there who awakens his dormant libido and gives him hope for the future. I liked the style but struggled a bit with why anyone would have put up with that for so long.

Krung Thep, City of Angels by Zee Kensington – C Young guy hooks up with older more experienced traveller in Bangkok. The young guy felt very young – much younger than 23. Hopeful happy for now ending.

Overall Grade: B-/C+

Seven Sexy Sins by Serenity Woods

September 24, 2012 / Kaetrin

Why I read it: I heard Twitter buzz and pre-ordered this one. As is often the case, it took me a little while to get to it on Mt. TBR.

What it’s about: (from Goodreads) The road to passion is paved with guilty pleasures.

Faith Hillman is in a bit of a pickle. She’s been commissioned to write a series of magazine articles on spicing up your love life. She’s got the theme—the “Seven Sexy Sins”—but there’s one major problem. She hasn’t experienced any of them.

Ever since Faith’s older brother gave Rusty Thorne a black eye for kissing her on her eighteenth birthday, he’s kept his distance, waiting for the right time to make his move. This is it. She needs a research partner? He’s the man for the job.

When sex-on-legs Rusty offers his services, Faith is all over it—with one caveat. The notorious heartbreaker must sign a confidentiality contract. Just to keep him safe from her brother’s wrath, of course…and her heart off Rusty’s long list of conquests.

As they work their wicked way through the list, the implications of the contract hit Rusty as hard as the handcuffs binding his wrists to the bed. It isn’t just Faith’s touch that rocks his world. It’s the way his heart likes it that blows his defenses out of the water. And makes him wonder, when the contract ends, if he can bear to let her go.

What worked for me (and what didn’t): This book was so much fun! Faith and Rusty are part of a wider group of friends (which includes her brother Dan) who have all hung out together for years and know each other very well. Their camaraderie was obvious right from the beginning. I like friends-to-lovers themed stories anyway, but where this one worked especially well for me was that time was taken throughout the story to show (as opposed to tell) that this couple were actually friends, with things in common. Sure, they had a smoking chemistry together but there was a lot more to their relationship. They talked about work and goals and dreams and I absolutely believed that they would be very happy together for the long term.

The set up calls for seven sexy encounters between the two but each one advances their emotional relationship as well. Although their Gluttony escapade (sex with food) had me raising my eyebrows a little – Two words: Mars Bar. Here’s another two words: Yeast infection. I also wondered if either would be able to walk for the week after Avarice (multiple orgasms) but possibly that’s just jealousy talking.

Faith is inexperienced, but she’s not naive

He pushed her against the wall, moving one hand up her thigh. His eyes met hers, and she felt her cheeks flush as he slipped his fingers inside the black lacy panties for the first time. She opened her legs for him, sighing.

“Am I wet enough?” she asked innocently.

He gave a deep, sexy laugh, sliding his fingers through her warm folds, and brought them up, slick and coated, to arouse her gently. “You’re kidding me, right?”

She let him stroke her for a while before adding breathlessly, “So we don’t need any lubrication then?”

“Ah…not so much.”

She moistened her lips with her tongue as he continued his skillful stroking. “So you’ll be able to slide in and out easily?”

His eyes were hot and exasperated. “That’s it. I can’t wait any longer.”

“Oh, thank goodness.”

and I really liked that she owned her sexuality. Rusty erroneously thinks that he is her “teacher” rather than her “partner” in this experiment and she sets him straight in no uncertain terms

“I’m not your trainee, Rusty. And I’m not your protégée. I may be a step or two behind you, but that doesn’t make me your subordinate. Understand?”

Of course, as things heat up in the bedroom (and various other places too), the pair realise there’s much more than physical attraction between them. Rusty however feels he’s a bad bet. He comes from a long line of alcoholic abusers – his father, grandfather, even his brother were/are all alcoholics who got mean and violent when drunk – hitting wives and children. Rusty hasn’t ever touched alcohol, afraid to unleash what he believes is a monster inside of him. He’s also worried that, even if the monster gene has skipped a generation, if he ever fathered any children, he could sire someone like his own dad. So he has flings and brief relationships but believes marriage and a family is not an option for him. Even when he comes to the conclusion that he loves Faith, he cannot take the risk – the fact that he loves her makes hims even less desirous of potentially hurting her and that created the touch of bittersweet toward the end of the story. Don’t worry, it has a happy ending but there is a bit of angst getting there.

He felt forlorn. Bereft. Like half a person, as if he’d gone into hospital to have a mole removed and they’d mistakenly amputated his left arm and leg. While he was dating her, he should have written “Not this one” on his heart in black pen.

Dan of course, doesn’t know that Rusty and Faith are getting it on and when he finds out (of course he’s going to find out!) fists fly. But in the end, it is Dan who helps Rusty see that he is not the monster he fears he is – and it is one of the funny but also kind of touching moments in the book which raised it above the average. (Any book which has made up lyrics to Bryan Adams is a win in my opinion! :D)

I found Rusty’s fears believable for him. On the one hand, his friends knew that he wasn’t what he feared but I knew that Rusty believed it was possible. I could understand why he was frightened and the scene with his brother just brought it home to him again. It could have been the sort of conflict I got a bit tired of (you know “oh, get over it already!”), but the way it was written, it worked for me (even if he was a bit of a dick to Faith and Dan in the process). I can understand having a negative belief so deeply ingrained that common sense can’t root it out. And that’s what Rusty was dealing with.

What else? I read a review of this book on Dear Author where Dabney quoted one of the sex scenes. The author used the unfortunate (IMO anyway) phrase “heart of her sensitivity” in it and it did put me off reading for a bit. But, it’s only used the once and really the sex scenes are well done. Really well done.

I also enjoyed the New Zealand setting – I honeymooned on the North Island of New Zealand and spent a few special days in Paihia in the Bay of Islands as it happens.

I’ll definitely be reading more from this author.

Grade: B+

Raw Blue by Kirsty Eagar

September 18, 2012 / Kaetrin

Why I read it: Brie from Romance Around the Corner mentioned this one to me on Twitter when we were talking about some New Adult books we were loving. She wanted to get hold of the book but as the author is Australian, it was geo restricted for her. as an ebook and at the time, not available in print either. Myself, I ended up waiting for the UK publication as it was less than half the price to buy it from The Book Depository than to get it here – even in an ebook version. Brie tells me this one is now lined up next in her queue.

What it’s about: (from Goodreads) Carly has dropped out of uni to spend her days surfing and her nights working as a cook in a Manly café. Surfing is the one thing she loves doing … and the only thing that helps her stop thinking about what happened two years ago at schoolies week.And then Carly meets Ryan, a local at the break, fresh out of jail. When Ryan learns the truth, Carly has to decide. Will she let the past bury her? Or can she let go of her anger and shame, and find the courage to be happy?

Warning: If you have rape triggers, this is not a book for you.

What worked for me (and what didn’t): This is kind of a hard one for me to grade. On the one hand, I devoured this book in 1 day, staying up way too late to make sure Carly got a happy/hopeful ending. The writing was clean and engaging, even though I probably didn’t understand more than half of the surfing language. (It will be interesting to see what Brie thinks of the Australianisms in the book – there’s a lot of “mate” and other Aussie terms. It felt authentic to me even while I was sometimes cringing at the way some of my brethren can be… less than articulate).

Carly gutted me. After being sexually assaulted during “schoolies week” (I think in the US many teens go to Florida to celebrate the end of school – here they go to the Gold Coast in Queensland) after she finished high school, she withdrew from her family and friends, dropped out of university, moved from the Central Coast of New South Wales to Manly and lived only to surf. Her only happiness was in surfing, where she could get away from herself and not feel empty or awful anymore. She is frightened of men, intimacy, sex. She feels rage and emptiness and overwhelming shame. What bothered me, both in terms of the book and for Carly, is that she didn’t talk to anyone about it. Even by the end of the book, there is really only a fairly brief discussion with Ryan (and, while he loves and accepts her, he possibly did not articulate what she needed to hear – but then, what do I know, I’ve not been sexually assaulted). Carly got no treatment, no counselling – it seems she wasn’t even tested for STD’s. She didn’t tell anyone, until Ryan. She has very interesting reasoning for not telling anyone and for not reporting it, which felt authentic but at the same time, it left her dealing (or not dealing as the case may be) with an horrendous trauma completely alone.

By the end of the book, Carly was essentially doing the same things she had been doing at the beginning, albeit she had now opened herself to love with Ryan. But she had made no decisions about possibly going back to uni (to pursue perhaps a different form of study given that she clearly hated the business communication course she had been doing) or possibly pursuing further education/an apprenticeship as a chef/cook. She had not reconciled at all with her family. She had not been to a counsellor. After the big reveal to Ryan, which was heartwrenching – gritty and raw rather than especially graphic in my opinion (and I DARE YOU to stop reading after that), she burrows away for a long time and eventually finds solace again in the surf. There is a happy/hopeful romantic ending, never fear, but I wasn’t convinced, in terms of Carly’s mental health, that she had really processed anything or was in a better place.

The story is told from Carly’s first person POV and Ryan isn’t a big talker, so I did feel that I didn’t get enough of him. However, there was one wonderful scene (involving a discussion about tattoos) which showed he was absolutely gone over Carly. And, when push comes to shove, he chooses Carly over everyone else. Ryan is a fairly unusual hero. When we meet him, he’s just got out of jail. While it wasn’t a violent crime he was put away for, I wonder if some readers may find his criminal past makes it difficult to warm to him. But, I liked that he turned his life around and it was clear he wasn’t going back to jail. (He got a job and he moved on – that’s why I particularly noticed that Carly (with the exception of her relationship with Ryan) didn’t.) Considering that for most of the book he was clueless about what made Carly so skittish (and, while he wasn’t a bully or pushy, he wasn’t what I’d call sensitive either – at least in terms of sex) he was certainly very patient with her emotions – to the extent that on one of their first dates she spends a lot of it sobbing in his arms. Ryan is also unusual in that he’s not drop dead gorgeous. He has a good body – he’s a surfer: of course he has a good body, but he has freckles everywhere and “sandy lank hair” and ears that stick out. I liked that he wasn’t an Adonis. Not a lot was made of his looks really (or hers for that matter – there was little physical description of Carly in the book) and it put me in mind of the recent post by Kate Elliott regarding the male gaze – I felt this book was written very much with Carly’s gaze – it wasn’t terribly sexual – which makes sense given what happened to her. She sees bodies more as functional, particularly in relation to surfing. Or, at least, that was my impression.

I would have liked a few more chapters, or maybe an epilogue a little bit down the track to give me some comfort that Carly was truly going to be okay. My heart broke for her. As much as Ryan loves her, I didn’t think his love alone could “heal” her and I really wasn’t convinced she could do it on her own. While I understood her reluctance to get help, I wondered if the book was perhaps sending an unhealthy message to younger/vulnerable readers? (my inner parent showing).

What else? Carly is 19 and Ryan 26, so I’d say this book is definitely “New Adult” rather than YA. One other thing I’ll add is that it is told in present tense – that might put some people off, but I found in this book, it kept the tension strong – I was finding out what was happening just as Carly was, and I wasn’t ever sure just what would happen. While I’m not a huge fan of 1st person present tense, I think it worked well in this book.

Carly strikes up a friendship with a fellow surfer, 15 year old Danny. He has synaesthesia – he sees things in terms of colour. For example, Wednesday is green. The title of the book is actually a reference to a way Carly describes the ocean toward the end of the story:

When I come over the top of the dune I see the ocean and I feel like I’m seeing it for the first time.

Today it’s blue, straight and simple. Raw blue.

But, it also relates to Carly herself. Danny sees Carly as blue – when she is particularly troubled, it is a dark, sickly, blue from which Danny flinches and when she is better the colour is somehow easier on his eyes. And Carly was certainly “raw” in very many important ways.

While I devoured the book and the main character gutted me (my concern for Carly ran well beyond the end of the book), there were some things I felt were missing or light on, in terms of an excellent story. Hence, my grade. I’d recommend it but it may leave you feeling on the melancholy side rather than with warm and fuzzy with satisfaction and triumph.

Grade: B- ETA B This book has stayed with me. The more I thought about it… well, now it’s a B.